


What Do You Regret?

by TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Because Canon? Fake News, But Spoilers for s15e18 Despair, Castiel Has Nightmares, Castiel deserves to get to say I Love You Too, Cuddling, Dean is a softie when it comes to Cas, Fluff, Human!Cas Endgame, Hurt/Comfort, I write a Destiel cuddling one shot every time Destiel goes canon, M/M, because I said so, instead of just I Love You, proudly ignoring 15x19-20, so here have my third
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:48:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday/pseuds/TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday
Summary: Castiel is back. He’s human, but he’s back.It has its downsides, of course, the human thing.Because no matter what he does, regardless of the warm body beside him at night, or the full knowledge he is home, and safe, he can’t sleep.Sleep is marred with visions, blood, pain, and violence. At his hands. All of his deepest regrets.Well, that warm body beside him? He’s beside Castiel through it all.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	What Do You Regret?

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a new tradition: Every time Destiel goes canon/we get a new positive piece of information after it was supposed to be over, I’m writing a new cuddling Destiel one shot. So, here, have part three of this ongoing tradition! I hope you enjoy!

Cas can’t sleep. He used to not need it, and now, well, he does, but, Castiel cannot sleep. Because every time he closes his eyes he sees darkness. And then he’s reliving it all, all over again. He’s in the Empty again. He sees Dean, bloody and bruised. He sees his hand, beating the man to a pulp. He watches Dean walk out of a house, his face lit orange by the holy fire in the room.

Ever since Cas came back, he can’t sleep. 

The images flash behind his eyelids again. Blood. Gore. A kiss he witnessed, but did nothing to stop. Three men begging him to stop as he turns a blind eye.

All his biggest regrets.

He draws in a gasp, his eyes flying open and his body lurching forward. His fists grasp at the bedsheets and his chest heaves as he tries to regain some composure.

“Babe?” Mutters a voice from beside him, gravely and deep from sleep. After a moment, Cas finally looks back, and Dean is laying on his stomach, his head rested on his arms. His head is twisted and he’s looking at Cas, concern in his eyes. Dean twists around and sits up, rubbing Cas’ back and pressing against his left side. “Hey… it’s okay. C’mon, breathe.” He murmurs gently, before reaching over and switching on a lamp for at least a dim light.

Cas turns into Dean the moment he turns back in, wrapping his arms around Dean’s torso and burying his head in his chest. His breaths remain shaky as his brain runs through it all. Every regret, every last pain or twinge of remorse from his ever-long life. Then again, most of it comes from the last 12 years. When he had something to regret. Dean, well, Dean Winchester is one of the very few things Castiel does not regret.

Cas eventually pushes Dean down to lay on his back, and he curls up, essentially on top of him. His legs twist over and around Dean’s right leg, and his arms wrap around Dean’s stomach. His head rests on top of Dean’s chest, right around his collarbone, and he listens to the man’s breathing, starting to try to match it.

“The nightmares again?” Dean asks gently, brushing hair out of Cas’ face and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Yeah.” Cas mumbles, watching his finger as it draws circles into Dean’s side, on the slim strip of bare skin between his shirt and the sheet that pools at his waist.

“You want to talk about it?” Dean asks, hand pressed to Cas’ forehead as though checking for a temperature. 

“Maybe in the morning.” Cas whispers, turning his head and pressing a kiss to Dean’s collarbone. 

“Okay.” Dean murmurs, and he starts to whisper. His arms wrap around Cas and he holds him close as he starts to speak to the love of his life, voice gentle and sweet. 

“I love you.”

“You’re perfect.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Cas.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I love you, you know that? I wish I could tell you every hour of every day.”

“I’m here for you Cas. Always have been, always will be.”

“Cas, you’re amazing.”

“You say it’s because of me, but you’re so caring, so loving, so passionate, so curious. You’re perfect.”

Cas’ breathing eventually slows, and he closes his eyes, but he stays awake. Aware.

“Dean…”

Dean places a finger over Cas’ mouth. “Cas, if you get your villain monologue about loving me so much, I can tell you how I feel too.”

Cas smiles at that, his hand flattening where it was once tracing circles. “Villain monologue? You think I’m evil, hm?” His voice slows slightly, and he’s curling in on Dean.

“No, I think it’s powerful. The best villain monologue I’ve ever heard, personally.”

“You’ve certainly heard a lot.” Cas laughs softly, before looking up at Dean, his blue eyes slightly  
covered by the subtle shadows and the dark lines of his eyelashes.

Dean nods, closing his eyes momentarily. “Yep. I believe I have experience in the matter.” 

“Yeah, I’d say so.” Cas smiles, scooting up slightly in his spot and pressing his lips to Dean’s. It’s not quick, he doesn’t pull away immediately, but it’s not needy or deep, like most of their kisses since Cas came back. Just simple. Cas tries to pour his love into that simple action, and Dean, of course, gets it. Dean, of course, reciprocates with exactly what Cas wants. What he needs.

Their lips meld together, moving slow for a few extra seconds, before Cas pulls out, pressing a small extra peck to Dean’s lips before resting his head back on his chest.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“Of course Cas. I love you.” Dean whispers, readjusting his grip on Cas and holding him close.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to contact me/send requests on tumblr @TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday, and I’d love if you were to let me know what you thought! Again, thanks so much for reading, I hope you have a good day!


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